The One Where They All Get Married

 

Written by:

Guadalupe de la Iglesia

 

- Scene: Monica and Chandlerís Bedroom. Monica is in bed.-

 

Monica: Chandler! Chandler!

 

(Chandler enters)

 

Chandler: Yes sweetie? Whatís wrong? Why do you look so bad? Are you ok? Do you have a headache? What, Whatís going on?

 

Monica: Calm down. Itís just a cold, Iíll be ok.

 

Chandler: But, you look so terrible, like you canít even get up.

 

Monica: What? Of course I can get up....... oooohhhhh....oooohhh...

 

Chandler: Need a hand?

 

Monica: Noooo, I CANíT believe this. On my wedding day, I cannot even get out of my bed. How am I going to walk down the aisle?

 

Chandler: Ok, ok, donít worry, Iíll figure something out.

 

Monica: Something like what?

 

Chandler: Ok, ok, letís see... weíll get married here!

 

Monica: What? Thatís insane!

 

Chandler: No, no, itís perfect, here weíve spent so many beautiful moments together, it means so much to us...

 

Monica: Honey, you are so sweet I love you so much.

 

Chandler: And I love you. Ok then, Iíll call the minister and ask the guys to help me bring all the stuff here, Iíll ask the girls to let everyone know, and weíre done!

 

(they kiss)

 

- Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are there. -

 

Rachel: Oh, Iím so happy for Monica and Chandler, they're really meant for each other.

 

Phoebe: Yeah, I know... I want to get married!!!!!!!!!

 

Rachel: What, Phoebs, what are you talking about?

 

Phoebe: I want to get married.

 

Rachel: But honey, who are you gonna marry?

 

Phoebe: I donít care as long as I say "I do".

 

Rachel: Well, what can I say? Good luck?

 

(Ross enters)

 

Ross: Good luck with what?

 

Rachel: Phoebe wants to get married.

 

Ross: Oh, no, Phoebe, marriage is a very important step to take, you really have to think about it, I mean, really, you donít want to get into something that important, donít rush things...

 

Phoebe: Oh c'mon!! Look whoís talking!

 

Ross: Ok, donít come asking for a good divorce counselor afterwards.

 

Phoebe: I wonít.

 

(leaves)

 

- Scene: Monica and Chandlerís. Joey and Chandler are there. -

 

Chandler: Ok, I have to go now, you're in charge, flowers are gonna be delivered, the minister is coming and Monís mom will bring the food.

 

Joey: Ok, no problem.

 

Chandler: Thanks man. Bye Mon!

 

Monica: (from the bedroom) Bye honey!

 

(Joey goes to Monicaís bedroom)

 

Joey: Well, Iím in charge now. Do you need anything?

 

Monica: Yeah, the spaceship.

 

Joey: What? Mon, are you ok?

 

Monica: Yeah, the duck is in the balcony.

 

Joey: Huh? Mon, you are halucinating!

 

Monica: No, I took a shower last night...

 

Joey: Oh my God!

 

(someone knocks the door)

 

Joey: Ok, hold on here, Iíll answer the door, Iíll be right back.

 

Monica: Quack, quack, quack, quack...

 

(Joey answers the door, itís an old guy in a suit)

 

Suit Guy: Hi I...

 

Joey: Yeah, yeah, I know, where do I have to sign?

 

Suit Guy: Oh, I didnít know you were in such a hurry. But well, ok, here are the papers, Iím going to need the bride to sign too.

 

Joey: Ok, if you say so...

 

(goes to the bedroom and comes back)

 

Joey: Here you go, now leave the flowers in the apartment across the hall.

 

(the suit guy has a weird face, Joey slams the door)

 

- Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are there. -

 

Phoebe: You know what Ross, I think you are the best of the guys.

 

Ross: Oh, thanks.

 

Phoebe: Yeah, you're the smartest, and the one with the cool job... the most interesting and plus you're the cutest!

 

Ross: Well, I have some charm...

 

Phoebe: You have more than that, you're a God.

 

Ross: Hehe... thanks, I think you are great too.

 

Phoebe: You know what? We should get a drink to celebrate the fact that we're the coolest ever.

 

Ross: Yeah, letís go.

 

- Scene: Central Perk. Later, Rachel is there, Chandler enters. -

 

Chandler: Hey Rach! I need some help, Mon is really sick, so we're having the wedding at the apartment.

 

Rachel: Oh my God. Why donít you postpone it?

 

Chandler: I just, I just... I just canít wait one more day to be her husband you know...

 

Rachel: Aaaawwww..... I wish someone loved me that much...

 

Chandler: Hey, you're gonna find that kind of love, you know?

 

Rachel: You think?

 

Chandler: Yeah, totally! I mean, you are an amazing girl, who wouldnít want you?

 

Rachel: Well, you donít..

 

Chandler: I know, but thatís because I love MO-NI-CA!

 

Rachel: Yeah, I was kidding.

 

Chandler: Hehe, ok, come and help me out whenever you can, ok?

 

Rachel: Yeah, Iíll be right there...

 

(Chandler leaves)

 

Rachel: You could be mine if I wanted you Chandler Bing... but I donít...

 

- Scene: A Bar. Phoebe and Ross are there. -

 

(Ross is completely drunk)

 

Ross: Well, I have a great experience in marriages.

 

Phoebe: Yeah, I know and thatís why I think we should get married!

 

Ross: Hhhhhmmm, ok letís go!

 

- Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Tag are there. -

 

Tag: Hi, baby.

 

Rachel: Hi, honey.

 

(they kiss)

 

Tag: You're so pretty today.

 

Rachel: Awww, thanks. You're really cute too.

 

Tag: Yeah...

 

Rachel: Tag, do you love me?

 

Tag: Yes, I do, I love you so much.

 

Rachel: Then, how come you never said it to me before?

 

Tag: Well...

 

Rachel: Oh, you donít really love me.

 

Tag: I do, I do, Rach, you have to believe me.

 

Rachel: Ok, prove it to me.

 

Tag: Sure, what do I need me to do?

 

Rachel: Hhmmm... marry me.

 

Tag: What?!?!?!?!

 

Rachel: See.. you donít really love me.

 

Tag: No, no, I do love you, itís just that getting married is such a big deal... such a big step to take...

 

Rachel: But if you loved me youíll take it.

 

Tag: Ok, if thatís what you need to know that I really love you, then letís do it.

 

Rachel: Oh my God! Letís go.

 

Tag: Now?!?!?!

 

Rachel: Yeah, címon.

 

- Scene: Monica and Chandlerís. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there. -

 

(Rachel and Tag enter)

 

Rachel: You guys, I have something very important to tell you.

 

All: What? What is it?.

 

Rachel: Tag and I are married.

 

(shows her ring)

 

All: What?!?!?!

 

(Phoebe and Ross enter)

 

Phoebe: Guess who just got married?

 

Chandler: Yeah, we know, Rach just told us.

 

Monica: (to Rachel) You said youíll never still my thunder again!!! Is getting married on my wedding day never?!?!?!

 

Ross: Noooo, Phoebe and I got married.

 

All: What?!?!?

 

(Someone knocks the door. Joey opens, itís a guy with a LOT of flowers)

 

Flower Guy: Hi, here are the flowers you ordered, I just need you to sign here.

 

Joey: What? You're the flower guy? The who was the guy before?

 

Flower Guy: I donít know.

 

Chandler: The minister was coming...

 

Joey: Ohoh....

 

Chandler: What? Joey?

 

Joey: Well, he asked me to sign something and wanted Monica to sign too, so... I thought he was the flower guy!

 

Chandler: Oh my God!!!! You are married to my fiancťe?????

 

Monica: I'm married to Joey???

 

Joey: Well...

 

Chandler: I canít believe this! Everyone is married except me... God Iíll end up being ďCrazy Snake ManĒ after all...

 

 

The End

 

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.